Posts from — May 2008

Smart people think about how they think…and why. I have had a feeling about this for some time now, but not until picking up de Bono’s, “Six Thinking Hats,” a couple days ago was I given the words to describe this idea with clarity. I had heard of de Bono from my mother-in-law, a PhD in talented and gifted education and blog author, but knew nothing about him or his field of study.

After reading the first 50 pages of his book I found myself hooked. Dr. Edward de Bono is the leading authority in the field of conceptual thinking and is an advocate of teaching thinking as a skill. Here’s a snippet from the preface that sums up his approach to the human mind:

Thinking is the ultimate human resources. Yet we can never be satisfied with our most important skill. No matter how good we become, we should always want to be better. Usually, the only people who are very satisfied with their thinking skill are those poor thinkers who believe that the purpose of thinking is to prove yourself right - to your own satisfaction. If we have only a limited view of what thinking can do, we may be smug about our excellence in this area, but not otherwise (Preface 2, emphasis mine)

The part of this quote that struck me the most was how often we find ourselves pursuing learning and thinking for the sole purpose of proving ourselves right. What a terrible habit, yet it’s such an easy trap to fall into. It’s only when we’re challenged that we find ourselves scrambling to do research or looking up data to support our claims…yet, shouldn’t that come beforehand?

We can only start to scratch the surface of intelligent thinking when we humbly admit that we know very little; that the unread books on our bookshelves greatly outnumber the ones we have read.

So what is the purpose for which you are trying to learn and expand your ability to think? Is it simply to prove yourself right or is it an authentic and innocent pursuit of truth, whatever it may be?

More on De Bono’s, “Six Thinking Hats,” to come….

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The twenties are an amazing time in life. For most of us it is the first time that we are truly on our own and free to choose our own path. It is an age where we essentially get to start with a clean canvas and begin painting the type of life we have dreamed of since childhood. It is an opportune time to try new things, new jobs, develop new habits and enjoy the lifestyle that comes with having little responsibility and endless amounts of energy.

The twenties are also foundational years for us and should not be wasted or lived unintentionally. With the help of some friends and mentors, the following are some of the best things we could think of to do in order to make the most of your twenties:

1. Surround yourself with wise mentors - you don’t know how to get somewhere you’ve never been. that’s why you need mentors– insight and help from people who are where you want to be. None of us know the answer to every curve ball that life throws our way, but with the help of others that have been there, our chances of making the best decision grow exponentially. Choose a diverse group of mentors and utilize their experience.
2. Become a lifelong learner - as mentioned above, the awesome thing about your twenties is that you gain a tremendous amount of freedom to pursue whatever direction in life you choose. With this freedom comes an opportunity to study things for your own enjoyment rather than because you were told to. It’s easy to think that because, “school’s out for summer,” that learning is out as well, but keeping your mind active and continually challenging yourself are key parts of living well and developing these habits in your 20’s will help keep you from becoming dumb and irrelevant.
3. Travel - the practice of leaving home to experience new locations and cultures is fundamental, and one that nearly everyone I posed the idea of this list to told me to include. There is something magnificent about traveling that goes beyond just snapping a few photos or placing thumbtacks on a map. Traveling helps us understand that life is much bigger than ourselves and inevitably leads us to the wonderful question, “why?” as we notice the differences from place to place. It is this lifestyle of “why” that is so valuable as we learn to question the way we all live rather than just taking everything at face value.
4. Learn to listen and handle criticism well - if there’s one deadly mistake I’ve seen made by many of my peers over the past few years it is the inability to receive criticism. Guess what, all of us have things we could do better at, especially in our 20’s. Toughen up a little and have enough maturity to realize that criticism is a healthy part of life and doesn’t require a poor attitude, excuse or rebuttal on your part. Most importantly learn from criticism.
5. Develop an active, healthy lifestyle - by adopting healthy habits such as eating well and exercising regularly in your 20’s you are setting yourself up for a much better quality of life. No great experience or event matters if you are not healthy enough to enjoy it. Learn to cook healthy meals and join a gym…if you’re really adventurous, run a marathon. Developing these habits at age 24 is far easier than age 44.
6. Read a classic - even though we are required to read a few classics here and there throughout school, if you’re like me you have forgotten most of the characters and plot twists by now. Take the time to read something by Dostoevsky, or if length is a big issue for you, try something like “Catcher in the Rye.” The issue isn’t so much the specific book, just developing a habit of reading for personal enjoyment. If you’re not sure where to start, check out this list made by my friend Brett at Art of Manliness.
7. Go on an overseas missions trip - Traveling is wonderful, but it is possible to travel the globe without ever really stepping outside of yourself. Some of the moments that have changed my life the most came serving others in the poorest and most broken places in the world such as helping in the rebuilding effort in Thailand after the devastating tsunami in 2005. It is well-known truth that we often find ourselves the strongest when we spend our lives in the service of others.
8. Create a monthly budget - often the big advice from financial planners for young people comes in a cheeky remark about cutting back on the Starbucks lattes. Well, I love Starbucks and don’t plan on giving up my coffee. Instead I’ve built them into a monthly budget. Building a monthly budget is foundational to a healthy financial life, by starting one and living by it in your 20’s you can ensure a solid financial situation for years to come.
9. Start a Roth IRA - I know of no better retirement vehicle than the Roth IRA. A Roth is unique because your money grows tax-free meaning at retirement age (currently 59 1/2) when you finally decide to pull out the money you have accumulated, you don’t have to pay any taxes on any of it. For a layman’s guide to the Roth IRA including how to start one, read my post on the subject here.
10. Buy a used car - it may be tempting to show how independent you’ve become by pulling up to your friend’s house in a brand new car, but fight the urge. You are losing thousands of dollars the second you roll out of the dealership parking lot. Even buying a year-old car will save you tons of money while still providing you with a relatively new vehicle. I mention this for twenty-somethings because I’ve seen so many of my friends bury themselves in debt over a car, one of the few “investments” in the world almost guaranteed to do nothing, but depreciate during its lifetime.
11. Understand basic investment principles - there is no doubt that financial illiteracy is rampant among young people mainly due to it’s weak to non-existent standing in secondary school curriculum. Most people do not truly begin understanding the basics of investing until they are at an age where it won’t make much of a difference anyway. The three principles I have written about here at Schaefer’s Blog which I think every young person should know include: 1) Time Value of Money 2) Pay Yourself First 3) Dollar-Cost Averaging
12. Go to a concert - Ever noticed that many people’s fondest memories start with, “One time we got tickets to (fill in the blank).” There is something amazing about live music and thousands of screaming fans that turns up the volume of our lives in all the right ways. Whether it’s Coldplay, U2, Celine Dion (my wife drug me to her show in Vegas and….it was actually pretty good) or Willie Nelson (one of the best I’ve seen) pony up and buy some tickets to a good concert.
13. Learn a foreign language - there’s something wonderful about communicating with someone in their native tongue; it breaks down cultural barriers like nothing else. The 20’s are a wonderful time to learn a new language as you travel the world and immerse yourself.
14. Start a blog - the ability to communicate one’s ideas in writing is an incredibly valuable asset. Blogging is similar to journaling, but with the added bonus of exposing your ideas to the scrutiny of millions of eagle-eyed online viewers. It’s amazing how quickly your writing improves when you realize that people will actually be reading your work. For more great reasons why you should start a blog read here.
15. Get your college degree - according to a recent report from the Commerce Department’s Census Bureau a college graduate can expect to earn approximately $900,000 more over their lifetime than those with only a high school diploma. Whether you like it or not, a college degree is one of those things that society considers an entry ticket for most well-paying jobs. Instead of lecturing everyone on why a college degree is overrated, just take the time to get one and save your lectures for the classroom.
    
16. Pay off credit cards - We’ve all heard the alarming stats yet few seem to be changing their behavior. The average college graduate it now entering the workforce with approximately $3,200 in credit card debt. Add to this student loans and it is easy to see why most in their 20’s take the attitude of, “I’ll deal with it later when I’m making more.” The problem is credit card debt can affect things like qualifying for a home loan, saving for retirement and building a solid credit rating. If you can’t pay off the full balance of your card every month then do yourself a huge favor and don’t use one in the first place. Secondly, whatever debt you do have, pay off as soon as possible - it will save you a lot of headaches in the future.
17. Stay in a hotel that costs over $200 a night - My wife and I had a debate about this one. I said you should do this in order to see that it’s not that much better than the $89-a-night Holiday Inn down the street. She disagreed, stating it was normally much better and one should stay in a nice hotel at least once in their 20’s just to treat themselves with a nice experience. So, I guess whatever way you look at it, staying in a nice hotel is something every twenty-something should do.
18. Read the Bible cover to cover - no other book has been cited by others, recounted in the arts, or debated in the public arena more than the Bible. And yet, very few have actually read it cover to cover. Being that this book covers so many fundamental issues central to life such as the role of God, man, sin, death, salvation, etc. it is something every person should read for themselves instead of relying on hazy quotes from the university philosophy professor or television evangelist. Man’s decision of what to do with God is one of the most integral he will ever make. Better to make this decision based on a personal encounter rather than off-hand information.
19. Explore your family of origin issues (positive and negative) and pursue growth - so many studies in sociology always end up pointing back to one’s family life growing up as the major factor in their growth and development. No doubt some of us experienced a wonderful family life while others went through something more akin to a nightmare. Either way the 20’s are a key time in understanding any family issues that may be holding you back and taking the necessary steps to find healing. It may require some counseling or may be as simple as calling your parents and telling them how much you love them.
20. Figure out the type of person you want to marry - I happened to get married at the age of 22 to my beautiful wife. This may seem young to many, but it has worked well for us. While I don’t think getting married in your 20’s is for everyone, it is definitely the time of life to start deciding what traits and values you desire in a future spouse. I’m not saying you need a 3 page checklist, but deciding on some of the non-negotiables will allow you to narrow in your focus and keep you from jumping into one poor relationship after another.

So, what have I missed? What should not be on the list and why? Please leave a comment and make your voice heard!

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First, let me say that the following post falls outside the normal subject material for this blog. I have never discussed politics on my blog, not because I lack an interest in the area, but simply because I decided to focus on other subjects when I set out on this journey. That being said, my good friend, Glenn Packiam, came to me the other day with an idea to co-write the following article and I jumped at the chance - not only because the topic intrigued me, but because he is a great writer and I knew that I would be getting the better end of the deal.

Politics is an interesting game because while we often sneer at the way it is played and some of the players themselves, the fact remains that the fates of nations rest in how politics play out. As my friend Glenn so eloquently writes, voting is an immense privilege. I would add that the free debate of politics is a privilege as well. This is the main reason I decided to post this on my blog, I love that in America we are free to debate ideas without fear of persecution. And the art of debating in such a manner that leaves your character intact at the end is indeed a lesson in skilled living. So enjoy, discuss, debate and let your voice be heard!

Why Our Generation Loves Barack Obama by Glenn Packiam and Cameron Schaefer

Before I say anything else, you need to know this: I cannot vote. I have held my Green Card for almost five years, and soon I will be able to renounce my prior citizenship, take a test on American history, and become a certified American citizen. But for now, I am a permanent resident. That means I get to do almost everything a citizen gets to do: line up in the citizens’ line at airport immigration, be legally and gainfully employed, and, of course, pay taxes. But the one thing I cannot do is vote.

In a twist of disappointing irony, the ones who do not have a privilege are often those are treat it as such. Voting is a privilege. Americans call it a right because they’ve never lived anywhere else or known anything different. But it is an extraordinary privilege to have a say in who governs our country and how they may do so. It is a heavy responsibility that many philosophers, rulers, and civilizations have not deemed ordinary citizens worthy of. The ancient Greeks, for example, argued that only the wisest should have a vote.

Alas, that is not the case in the wonderful land of the free and the home of the brave. Everyone gets a vote. But since you do, and I don’t, and since I am neither a republican nor a democrat, I’ve teamed up with one of the brightest minds I know—my good friend Cameron Schaefer—to bring you some thoughts you ought to consider before you vote. From an observing “outsider” and an intelligent insider come our theories on why our generation is so madly in love with Barack Obama.

1. We’re too poor to care about taxes
A friend of mine said flatly, “I don’t care about taxes. I spend more on healthcare out of pocket than I’m likely to get taxed.”

I squirmed at the admission. But it belied a trend: college students and twentysomethings are almost always the least vocal demographic when it comes to tax increases. Why? Quite simply, we aren’t making enough for our taxes to be that high in the first place. Most of us find ourselves in the lowest tax brackets where an increase in taxes would not significantly affect our bottom line.

But what our generation often fails to understand is that, for most of us, earning $10 an hour at the neighborhood Starbucks is just a short stop on our socioeconomic timeline. With each new job and pay raise, higher taxes will become a bigger and bigger factor. A mother recently recounted how her daughter triumphantly announced how wonderful Obama was because he would provide free healthcare at only a fraction of a tax cost to her. The mom rolled her eyes and said, “It’s a fraction for you. What about me?” The stay-at-home-mom-turned-six-figure-earning-entrepreneur continued. “Do you realize that I will likely lose half of my income?” Her daughter was speechless. Her mom losing half her income would certainly impact her upcoming plans for a lavish wedding.

Obama has made it clear that he intends to increase Social Security payroll taxes as well as others. An interesting study done by the National Bureau of Economic Research provided the following conclusion of how Obama’s tax increases would effect our generation:

“…under Social Security’s current rules, young college graduates will contribute about 5 percent of their lifetime earnings. Under Obama’s proposal, that number would rise to almost 9 percent, taking these individuals’ overall lifetime tax rate from 45 percent to 49 percent. By voting for Obama, a 22-year-old young college graduate earning $40,000 per year today would be opting to surrender an additional 4 percent of his lifetime earnings to the Social Security administration — and may get no benefits in return.”

2. We’re too young to be suspicious of big government
The names Reagan and Thatcher ring a bell of familiarity for our generation, but most could not tell you anything about them—except that maybe Reagan was an actor. Makes sense since most of us were sucking on bottles while Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher battled expanding, meddling governments in the U.S. and U.K. respectively. Their legacy as champions of smaller government and economic deregulation came from their firm conviction that individuals know how to spend their money better than the government. As a result, the last three decades have seen a boom in economic prosperity both at home and abroad.

While we are lucky to have been born at such an opportune time, it has given us a somewhat one-sided view of government. We have never been witness to the terrible inefficiency, gridlock and economic downturn caused by big government and it’s emphasis on expensive, centrally-controlled and poorly-run social programs. Senator Obama apparently feels that the last 30 years of prosperity were sheer luck as he intends to increase and expand the federal government like no one in recent memory. Specifically, Obama is currently proposing an $800 billion increase in government spending. While reading his “Blueprint For Change” one thing I noticed immediately was the continual use of the word, “expand” as he talked about expanding this program and that program, expanding spending in this area and government oversight in that area. One thing is clear, a vote for Obama equals a vote for a bigger, more expensive government.

In his classic work, “The Road to Serfdom,” Nobel-prize winning economist F.A. Hayek explained that,

…socialism required central economic planning and that such planning in turn had a risk of leading towards totalitarianism, because the central authority would have to be endowed with powers that would have an impact on social life as well, and because the scope of knowledge required for central planning is inherently decentralized.

In the words of the old adage Reagan used: “Any government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take it away.”

A brief reading of stories from the failed communist ideal of the Soviet Union will reinforce the truth of that simple adage. Or perhaps a short trip to the dismantled Soviet bloc, the former home of big government with big ideals and good intentions, will be enough to cleanse your mind of all hope in government.

3. We’re too easily impressed with image.
Fact: Obama looks good on TV. He speaks fantastically. He comes off incredibly intelligent and vibrant. His words are measured and his demeanor composed. He has everything necessary to be attractive to young people (including a popular Facebook group). As one young observer explained,

Obama constantly talks about change, new beginnings and…We love be(ing) a part of something that is new, exciting and a little counter-revolutionary or daring, so we jump on his band wagon!

And all of that is a welcome relief to our “misunderestimated” bumbler of a current president.

The problem is it takes more than great platform presence and a few eloquent speeches about change to make a good president. A friend of mine said the thing that was most important to him in a president was “leadership.” I asked him what he meant by that. He went on to describe some one who speaks well, carries himself with confidence, and is capable of inspiring a nation. While I admit, a president like JFK did a lot to “bring out the best in us,” is that really what we need most in a president? Isn’t that what we have moms for?

Here’s a shocking thought: some of the presidents who did the most good for our nation would likely not have been elected today. Abraham Lincoln read his speeches straight off a sheet of paper with virtually no emotion. Before there were TVs in every home, American citizens paid attention to something other than how compelling a guy’s speeches were; they examined a man’s beliefs. They thought about what the implication of his policies might be, not just for them and their immediate future, but for their children, for generations to come.

All we are asking is that you do the same. Let’s not be the selfish generation, the ones consumed with what we can get. Let’s think bigger, more intelligently, and further down the road.

Thanks for hearing us out.

Welcome to the third edition of the Manival! The Manival is a blog carnival that brings together the best posts by man bloggers written with men in mind. The first two have featured some incredible posts and generated a lot of great attention and discussion. This edition promises to be no different with a large selection of great posts!

Thanks for coming and enjoy the ride as we celebrate all things manly together:

Editor’s Pick:

Jonathan Fields of Awake At the Wheel provides us with 6 rules for life that he came up with for his daughter. A new father myself of a beautiful baby girl, these are 6 pieces of advice that caused me to laugh out loud and appreciate. Check out his fatherly advice in “Six Timeless Rules for My 6-Year Old Daughter”

Fatherhood:

Joeprah presents a hilarious system by which dad’s at playgroups can identify the estrogen level present in “The Playgroup Play Along Game for Dads”

Being Michael’s Daddy gives some great advice for any dad’s-to-be about interacting with your pregnant wife in a way that will keep you both happy in “For Dad’s To Be“

Career and Money:

The Simple Marriage Project gives some great ideas for how a man can define his life beyond just his job title in “Man Up: How To Answer The Question, What Do You Do?“

Money Blue Book features The Oracle of Omaha, Warren Buffett, in a great investment post looking at the interplay between greed and fear in “Warren Buffett’s Single Most Important Piece of Advice For Stock Market Investors“

Andrew Schultz writes an insightful piece about the surprising financial strains of professional athletes, giving us lessons we can all take something away from in “Money Can’t Buy Happiness”

Marriage and Relationships:

I Am Husband gives some great marital advice explaining that mutual selflessness is a fundamental aspect of successful marriages in “Marriage is Not 50/50“

Discovering Dad offers husbands some wise and funny advice on how to compliment their wives in “Do’s and Don’ts of Complimenting Your Wife on Mother’s Day (Or Any Other Time)”

Shop Little Gifts helps solve your gift needs for your wife or girlfriend with “5 Gift Ideas at 5 Price Ranges, For Her.”

Persistent Illusion gives a close-up view into the inner workings of a woman’s mind, explaining attitude is often much more of a factor than big muscles in attracting a woman in “TGIF - Thank God I’m Frisky, XY”

Manertainment and Culture:

A Good Husband describes the recent boom in social media in all things manliness, noting that guys seem much more intrigued by learning to be a good husband or father than checking out pictures of the latest scantily-clad model in “Husbands, Dad’s and the The Social Media Revolution”

Building Camelot provides us with a highly entertaining and funny post on getting an awkward massage at the hands of a male masseuse in “How to Survive a Manssage”

Virile Lit gives a interesting little history lesson into the postwar crop of men’s magazines of the 1950’s called, “The Sweats“

Manning Up:

The Art of Manliness provides us with some essential skills every man should know…and after all girls like guys with skills. So learn something useful in “How to Survive and Thrive in a Street Fight in 8 Simple Steps”

Mitch Ross looks at the always helpful skill of public speaking and the ways a man can improve this skill in “The Manly Art of Giving a Toast”

Stormbringer’s Thunder takes a look at some manly wisdom taken from the playbook of 007 himself, James Bond in “Do You Show It?“

Sparkplugging takes a look at something all of us have thought about at one point, how we would react if an intruder broke into our home in “Men Are Wimps, According to the Home Security Commercial”

Thanks to everyone that submitted! Please submit to next week’s Manival which will be hosted at The Care and Feeding of Man. The submission form is here. Also, don’t forget to share this on Stumble, Digg, Delicious, etc. so others can join in the fun that is the Manival.

“Quit? You know, once I was thinking of quitting when I was diagnosed with brain, lung and testicular cancer all at the same time. But with the love and support of my friends and family, I got back on the bike and won the Tour de France five times in a row. But I’m sure you have a good reason to quit. So what are you dying of that’s keeping you from the finals?” - Lance Armstrong in “Dodgeball“

By now most of us know the incredible story of Lance Armstrong, the Texas native that came back from cancer to win 7 consecutive Tour de France titles from 1999-2005. He has inspired many and is now busy trying to conquer his next challenge, the sport of running. He ran his first marathon in 2006 finishing in 2:59:36 (if you’re not sure, this is really good). He recently completed this year’s Boston Marathon in 2:50:58. Elite runners, watch your backs.

The story is amazing because it seems so supernatural and unreal. When staring at the list of Armstrong’s achievements the natural question is how? How does a man go from his deathbed to winning one the toughest sporting events in the world 1,2,3….7 times in a row! How does one maintain that much consistency? Lance has told us, “It’s Not About the Bike,” and I would agree — I think the majority of the answer to “how” lies in Lance Armstrong’s mental toughness.

Mental toughness is talked about a lot, but understood by very few. It is the ability to will oneself through less than ideal situations and conditions whether that be battling cancer or simply waking up early to go workout. Mental toughness can come from many sources such as:

• overcoming a difficult childhood
• a deep faith in God
• battling an addiction or disease
• undergoing military training
• consistent physical exertion

I know several people that I would consider mentally tough from WWII veterans to outdoor adventurers to Christian missionaries, but my friend Beau Suder is the first that comes to mind.

Beau has been an incredibly close friend for some time now so I’ve gotten to see his “inner workings,” a bit more than most folks. In high school Beau was an amazing athlete. Was it because he was 6′2” 220lbs with a 50-inch vertical? No, it was because he worked harder and pushed himself more than anyone else on the field. I have several stories I could tell, but I’ll keep this short.

Beau ended up playing football for the Air Force Academy, but struggled with a nagging shoulder injury. One night, while playing UNLV, he made a big hit on a guy and came trotting to the sideline holding his arm which was completely limp - he had dislocated his shoulder. I was on the sidelines and cringed thinking he would be out for the game if not longer. The next thing I saw was him talking to the trainer and the trainer popping his shoulder back in right there on the sidelines. One play later, Beau was trotting back onto the field to play the rest of the game! This is mental toughness, ignoring pain and performing under less than ideal circumstances.

As I began thinking about how one builds mental toughness I realized that while there are many ways it comes about, for the majority of people, consistent and intense physical exertion is the most accessible and common way to build mental toughness. You can’t help if you grew up in a posh suburban environment with loving parents or have never battled cancer, and the majority of people will never undergo the type of training that comes standard in the military, but everyone can go on a long run or work out until their bodies are screaming to stop. With that in mind, here are some keys to building mental toughness that anyone can follow:

1. Show Up - “Everybody wants to know what I’m on. What am I on? I’m on my bike busting my ass six hours a day. What are you on? ” - Lance Armstrong

What separates a guy like Lance from 99% of the world is the fact that he showed up everyday, when it was raining, when it was hot, when he was sore, when he was tired….he showed up everyday. JUST SHOW UP! What happens after you show up is where the real fun begins, but most people can’t even make it to that point. If it’s working out, tell a friend you’ll meet them at a certain time so you will be less likely to back out. If it’s battling an addiction, make yourself go to a recovery group every time it meets.

2. Hurt Vs. Injured - “Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.” - Lance Armstrong.

My high school football coach, John Deti, used to always ask players that limped to the sidelines during a game, are you hurt or injured? This may seem trite to some, but he was keying in on a fundamental issue. Soreness, stiffness, bruises…these are just parts of any game or any physically demanding activity, but they should not keep one from continuing. Injuries on the other hand, like muscle tears, broken bones, etc. are a different thing entirely and should be taken care of. One of the best ways to develop mental toughness is extreme physical exertion…if there is no discomfort , you aren’t pushing yourself hard enough. This is different from causing injury which hinders you rather than helping.

3. Unfamiliar and Unexpected Are Your Friends - Part of building mental toughness involves being comfortable performing in stressful situations. One of the best ways to develop this trait is by consistently doing things you have never done or trying things a different way. Fear of the unknown keeps many from ever developing mental toughness, but by consistently placing yourself in unfamiliar situations you can learn to deal with stress and fear. Some good ones that I’ve tried include rock climbing, attending the Air Force Academy, swimming (what is recreation for most used to stress me out since I was a terrible swimmer until recently) and mountain biking. You don’t have to do something crazy, just something that you don’t normally do and something that puts a little fear in your heart.

4. What’s Your Motivation - Whenever you find yourself in a tough position you will need something you can focus on to provide motivation. I don’t know exactly what Lance focused on during the hill climbs of the Tour de France, but I’m sure it included a mixture of other cancer patients he had met along the way, yellow jackets and a finish line. Lately, for me it has been my daughter and my desire to have her look at her father’s life someday and say, “Wow, he really pushed himself and accomplished some great things.” I want her to be as proud of me as I am of her. Whatever it is, everyone has to find something to focus on for motivation. If you allow your mind to focus on your pain or your laziness you will have a hard time pushing through any adversity.

5. Constantly Challenge Yourself - What most people fail to understand is that mental toughness is something that has to be practiced and developed over time. The key to this is placing yourself in challenging situations…constantly doing things that are hard. This is a fundamental principle of military training. Sure, push-ups and sit-ups help develop you physically, but after a couple hundred of them it becomes much more of a mental game than a physical one. The military uses physical training and yelling because it creates a stressful environment that breeds mental toughness and forces one to deal with intense discomfort and anxiety, the fact that it gets you in shape is a side benefit.

6. Surround Yourself with Lance’s and Beau’s - As with most things in life, you will become who you spend time with. So, if you want to get more mentally tough, spend time with people that already are. It’s contagious. I always love working out with Beau because just when I’ve had it and am ready to leave the gym he is just starting…he pushes me by his example. Lately I’ve been pouring myself into training for a marathon. Being as I’ve never run one I have tried to meet and talk to others that have in hopes of gleaning some insight and motivation from them. Whether you are training for a marathon or not, surrounding yourself with other mentally tough people is a sure way to become mentally tough yourself.

Mental toughness isn’t about being macho or cocky, it’s about coping with stress, anxiety and pain. It’s about running another lap when your throat is burning, doing 20 more push-ups after your arms start to shake and doing the things others aren’t willing to do.

This trait is beneficial not just for the Navy SEAL, but for the 9-5 average Joe as well. When one looks at people like Lance, the Ironman triathalete, or the Vietnam POW it is easy to say, “I could never make it through something like that or be as strong as them.” The fact is, they too had to develop their mental toughness just like everyone else, day after day after day. Simple, but not easy.

Two weeks ago I told you about a new blog carnival put together by Brett McKay of The Art of Manliness, aptly named “The Manival.“ For those of you who aren’t sure what I’m talking about, a blog carnival is basically just a collection of posts from across the blogosphere posted together for easy access. It’s a great way to recognize bloggers, build a community and generate discussion on a certain topic. In this case, the discussion revolves around anything related to MEN.

Schaefer’s Blog will be hosting The Manival next Tuesday, so I wanted to send out a call for your posts relating to manhood, being a husband, fatherhood, job skills, etc. You can submit all posts here until Monday, May 12th at 4pm.

Meanwhile check out this week’s Manival at A Good Husband.

Also, for you dedicated readers, I’m currently working on a post entitled: “20 Things to do In Your 20’s.” So far I’ve gotten some great ideas from friends and family, but I wanted to pose the question to you. Some of the answers I’ve received:

• start an IRA
• travel a lot
• go on an overseas missions trip
• surround yourself with wise people
• come to grips with your family background
• make lots of mistakes

What are things you think one should do in their 20’s? Please answer in the comments section below.

“Westerners are often eager to blame others when something goes wrong. The attitude of “the buck stops here” is the exception, not the rule. It is just the opposite within Toyota. The greatest sign of strength is when an individual can openly address thing that did not go right, take responsibility, and propose countermeasures to prevent these things from happening again.” - Jeffrey Liker, “The Toyota Way.”

If you’ve been watching the news at all over the past couple years you’ve seen Toyota that has come to dominate the global auto industry, surpassing GM last year to become the world’s largest carmaker. As GM and Ford have struggled to keep their heads above water, cutting thousands of jobs and closing factories, Toyota has been expanding and profiting along the way.

While the American companies have been pointing to an undervalued yen as the source of their fall from the top, I think the answer to this power shift has much more to do with organizational culture and leadership than currency issues. Simply put, Toyota is a better company.

Much has been written about the organizational culture of Toyota in the last two decades, but one factor stands out from the rest as a key to their success - kaizen, the Japanese term for constant improvement.

Kaizen teaches individual skills for working effectively in small groups, solving problems, documenting and improving processes, collecting and analyzing data, and self-managing within a peer group. It pushes the decision making (or proposal making) down to the workers and requires open discussion and a group consensus before implementing any decisions. pg 24, “The Toyota Way” (emphasis mine)

The philosophy of kaizen is something that is of great benefit not only to businesses, but churches, non-profits and civic groups as well. It seems like a no-brainer, yet few organizations really practice it. Why? Here are some thoughts.

5 Barriers to Kaizen:

1. Insecure Leadership - Kaizen means that procedures and philosophies are continually questioned, debated and changed. If the leadership can’t handle having their ideas challenged on a frequent basis then the organization is destined to become irrelevant. Leaders must be secure enough to know that the free debate of ideas is healthy and necessary and does not represent a personal attack on their authority. This isn’t to say they shouldn’t be the final authority on decisions, only that they must allow input from others and not be surprised or upset when their ideas are tweaked or replaced for something better.

2. My Way or the Highway - A demand for unquestioned obedience and “my way or the highway” attitude will also squash kaizen, producing a reluctance to bring forth a new ideas out of fear of reprisal. A dictatorship may work in organizations with a handful of people, but it is impossible for one person to possess all the knowledge necessary to run a complex system. It is the front-line workers that will have the best view of what needs to be changed and their voices must be heard for kaizen to happen.

3. Fat on Resources - This may seem counterintuitive, but often times it is the overabundance of resources that keeps an organization from recognizing the need for improvement. If you have too many resources then waste is ignored and issues are solved by more money, more committees and more positions rather than solving the underlying problem.

After WWII, much of Japan’s economy was destroyed and Toyota faced the hard decisions that come with many problems and few resources. They couldn’t afford any waste so they had to invent a new production system that would later be known as “Just In Time.” Lack of resources forced Toyota to innovate. *Side note: Marc Andreesen has some great points regarding raising too much money as a startup here.

4. Unmotivated or Ill-equipped employees - One thing that interested me about Toyota is their hiring process. While many companies approach filling assembly line jobs as simply a numbers game Toyota seeks out highly talented and motivated employees to fill even the most basic of positions. They understand that people are more important than machines and need incentives to keep from slipping into the “lifer” mentality, as my friend Akshay put to well. By hiring quality people and constantly providing them with training and education opportunities they also ensure that kaizen will be skillfully applied by their front-line employees.

5. Promotion by Numbers - If your promotion emphasizes toeing the line more than it does improving the organization, kaizen will be severely restricted. In order for a company to continually adapt it must reward the mavericks, the innovative thinkers who question the norm and create new ways of doing things. These people may not always fit the polished image that many organizations desire in their upper echelons, but if these people are marginalized, rather than promoted, a dangerous precedent will be set that going with the flow pays more than trying to make a change.

Resources:

Kaizen - Wikipedia
“Toyota ‘world’s largest carmaker’” - BBC News
“The Toyota Way” by Jeffrey Liker

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