Are You Afraid of the Silence?
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When I was young there was a show I watched on Nickelodeon called, “Are You Afraid of the Dark,” a horror-themed kid’s series which basically portrayed various ghost stories and urban legends each week to millions of wide-eyed adolescents like myself. The show was quite a hit because it focused on something that most of us had in common at that age, an unexplainable fear of the dark. Like most, I was constantly consumed by the idea that a whole new evil world existed in my closet as soon as my mom kissed me goodnight and switched off the lights.
Most kids have this fear and eventually grow out of it. Lately, though, I have begun to believe that the average college and 20-something has replaced this fear with an entirely new one, the fear of silence.
How many times have you been alone at home and turned on the television, not to watch anything, but simply for the background noise? When you hop in the car you turn on some music. Going on a run…can’t forget the iPod. I know friends that have to have some sort of noise just to fall asleep at night!
Our lives have slowly become enveloped by a white noise that all of us feel quite naked without. Noise has become for us at age 24 what a night light was at age 5. Don’t believe me? When is the last time you drove to school or work in complete silence? Or spent a day without turning on the t.v. or stereo?
While many brush this fact off as a funny quirk, I contend that this phobia is a destructive one, keeping us from the deeper things of life, the things buried deep down in the soul…the things that only come out in solitude and the heaviest of silence.
In, “Death by Suburb,” author David Goetz explains, “The deeper spiritual life is never a direct route…In the toxic dump of efficiency and control, though, the first act must be countercultural — a decision not to act.” Silence is hard and scary and aggravating because it’s nothing in a world that is constantly seeking something.
Many of the great thinkers and philosophers throughout history have grappled with the effects of silence’s partner solitude. In “Walden,” Henry David Thoreau revealed, “I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.”
Someone sitting in a small apartment in New York City is now reading this going, “Walden! Anyone could explore the richness of silence and solitude, ‘along the shores of Walden Pond,’ but I live in a city that never sleeps, among people that never shut up!” True. But maybe exploring the deeper life of silence and solitude is has nothing to do with geography.
Maybe exploring the things of the soul, the things of God and self requires nothing more than stopping. As Goetz puts it,
For spiritual development and entrance into the thicker, more reflective life, solitude is more inside space than it is outside space. Solitude isn’t something to consume, like a summer vacation at Lake Tahoe…It begins incrementally with the practice of becoming still. For a minute, for two minutes, for five minutes–not necessarily in beholding a snowcapped mountain peak, but simply in stopping the pursuit of efficiency…And to stop the scheming inside my head.
As I’ve tried to practice these times of silence and solitude I’ve discovered that often they are not so calming or relaxing as many would have you believe. In fact, sometimes they are miserable, a battle with myself…my mind wandering and me chasing after like a nagging headmaster to reign it back in…then me wondering things like, “If I am chasing my mind, does that mean my mind is chasing itself, like a dog chases it’s tail?” Ridiculous! Silence and stillness often don’t produce grand revelations…only more question marks. But every once and a while…it’s worth it.
Why do I tell you all this? Because being scared of the silence keeps us away from some of the greatest treasures in life. Our soul is an incredible thing, something God placed in man to make him like God. But the soul is mysterious…and can only be thoroughly examined in solitude and silence. Our lives, in many ways will depend on these moments of soul searching. And who would want to miss out by trading these moments for a little more background noise?
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12 comments
This is not a new problem. Forty years ago I was on a trip with some college friends to a quiet area in Michigan. We went for a late moonlight walk, which was magical with the snow and a frozen lake resting in an incredible stillness.
My friends could not stand it and said so. They giggled, chattered, and were as rowdy as possible while high tailing it back to the cabin. I felt it was like throwing a rock into the pond, shattering the beautiful reflections.
Many people are uncomfortable being with themselves, which they discover in stillness.
@ Lexi,
That’s a great point! It really is amazing how scared people can get when they realize they may come face-to-face with themselves. It’s much easier just to turn the volume up and think happy thoughts!
Cameron
Great post Cameron
Being in a quiet place and experiencing the stillness of the mind are two different things. I experience brief seconds and some longer moments of inner silence quiet when I meditate which I know will expand over time.
Years ago I had the pleasure to be in the presence of Eckhart Tolle for 3 1/2 hours at a seminar in NY. For that amount of time, I was aware of total quiet in my mind. It was extraordinary experience to be fully present with stillness.
Like you, I encourage people to invest in their spiritual journey. It’s the best ride I’ve ever been on.
Cheers,
Lorraine
http://www.powerfull-living.biz
Well done Cameron! You’ve pointed out quite clearly one of the main reasons that many are spiritually starving in this age.
“But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” - Matthew 6:6
At the ripe old age of 74 and with ‘humpteen’ children and grand-
children behind me, it has only been a ’skinny few’ years since I would have given most anything for just a few moments of silence. Be there anybody, anywhere, who can relate to THAT? Well, now at last, I have time to THINK, and the silence in which to do it. And, though I miss the ‘Good ole’ Days with hordes of family surrounding me, I enjoy an ‘Attitude of Gratitude’ for the silence to reflect on the subject of Life and ME, What it is about and Who I am inside of me. Yes, and to relate to the World around me at the same time.
Great post about silence. It is only in silencing out external noises that one can hear one’s thoughts. It is only in the stillness of the mind, that insights arise.
Enjoyed your article tremendously,
Evelyn
@ Lorraine,
It’s true that environment doesn’t necessarily dictate being still, however it can be a great help, especially when you’re just starting. I completely agree that investing in your spiritual life is something that will return incredible dividends.
@Mark,
I love that verse! I often think of how Jesus would wake up early and go off by himself to pray. If He needed some solitude and silence, how much more do we?
@Ruth,
What an amazing thing it must be to have experienced so many great moments and have such an incredible perspective that only comes with time. An attitude of gratitude is definitely a powerful thing.
@Evelyn,
Being still almost always allows great insight, it’s awesome! So glad that you enjoyed this post so much!
Cameron
Hi Cam,
Great post! I was listening to a Christian radio station this morning before work, and I realized I was thinking about all the things I had to do today rather than listen to the message. At that very moment, the radio guy says: “Don’t forget to pray and take time for the things that really matter because this life will soon pass away.” How true is that?
Your post made me think about this moment again…
-Brian
[...] Get away from all the distractions and busyness for a day or at least a few hours. In Are You Afraid of the Silence?, Cameron Schaefer states, "Noise has become for us at age 24 [or 44 :)] what a night light was [...]
Brian,
It is very true. I just watched this video yesterday about a Carnegie Mellon professor, Randy Pausch that was told he would die in the next few months.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8577255250907450469
He gave his last lecture to his students and then on Oprah…very powerful. This life will soon pass away…better make sure you’re ready for the next one.
Cameron
[...] for Excellence Are You Afraid of the Silence? The Difference between False Happiness and Real [...]
Hi Cameron,
This is insightful!
People who are on a spiritual path would surely identify with this wonderful sense of connection with their higher being. I for one have come to appreciate daily moments of total silence. However, by casual observation, I think most people are still fearful of solitude. By looking at the popular TV programs today, it is clear that most people could not afford to let their chattering mind have peace and silence.
I have also found very insightful read in Eckhart Tolle’s new book: “A New Earth -Awakening To Your Life’s Purpose”
Thanks for the post. Cheers!
Jordan Cheng
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