Change is a Community Project
If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!
This was the title of a recent sermon I heard last Sunday at church. It struck a chord because it put into words an often overlooked reality: real change takes community.
Many of today’s most popular authors, talk-show hosts, and life coaches preach that YOU have the power to change yourself. If you just look inside yourself, focus on enough positive thoughts, profess the correct words over yourself, than you can do it. And why not? The thought strikes an emotional chord in all of us. We desperately want to believe that we hold the power of change inside of us. But we don’t.
All of us have tried to change things on our own and how has that worked out? Maybe you are a superman or woman, but I would be lying if I told you that my solo-attempts at change resulted in great success. From working out more consistently, to becoming more patient, to sticking to a budget…constant failure. Each time was like running my car into a brick wall, backing up, pressing harder on the gas pedal and running into it again. Why? I was ignoring an inconvenient truth:
Change does not happen in isolation, change happens in the midst of quality human relationships.
Why do we run from this reality? Could it be that in our pride we don’t like the idea of exposing our weaknesses to others? Does it hurt our ego’s that maybe we can’t do everything on our own?
There is a toxic idea being preached in modern society that the strength of a man or woman is found in their independence. It’s a false and destructive idea.
We are the strongest when we are connected to others.
Since creation, man has been meeting together in groups whenever something needs to be accomplished. And in the process of meeting a need, each member of the group is strengthened. The local church, Alcoholics Anonymous, the Freemasons, political parties, book clubs, and bowling leagues just to name a few. In all of it, there is a common understanding that two heads are better than one and the strengths and weaknesses found in a diverse group of people can be matched in a way that makes everyone better.
But lately this trend of civic, religious, political and every other type of community involvement has taken a nosedive. Robert Putnam’s landmark study of American community in “Bowling Alone,” showed a distinct trend of more isolation rather than connectedness. This dangerous pattern must be reversed, and quickly.
If you want lasting, meaningful change, you must surround yourselves with people who can help guide you in the right direction. In my own life, the local church has provided a crucial role in helping me develop into the type of person I want to be.
Without the relationships I experienced in this setting I would still be stuck fighting the same personal struggles I was 6 years ago…no progress. Instead I have been able to grow, develop and in doing so help mentor others in the same areas in which I used to struggle.
Real development and real change because of real relationships.
The following are just a few benefits of being part of a community:
1) Empathy – in a community of diverse people with various backgrounds, the chances of meeting someone who has already gone through the very things you struggle with are quite high. Someone will understand where you’re coming from and this will provide you with encouragement and a feeling of safety and trust.
2) Accountability – As I have blogged about before, there is no use developing a personal goal unless you plan on having someone hold you accountable. Someone to call you each week and make sure you are staying on track, someone to walk through the process with you. Being a part of community automatically gives you a support team ready to hold you accountable.
3) Collective Wisdom – Great decisions happen in the counsel of many advisers. The “wisdom of the crowds” makes being connected to a strong and intelligent crowd incredibly important when trying to navigate through life. If you don’t know the answer to a question, someone in your community probably does. Your weaknesses are offset by community’s strengths.
4) Networking – Ever met those people in life that have “a guy” for almost everything? They navigate through life with ease because they know the right people. Are they just lucky? Chances are, they have discovered the power of networking. Being part of a healthy community offers countless opportunities to network and in doing so make connections that will greatly benefit every area of your life.
Being a part of a community like your local church, reading group, or running club is the quickest way to make the changes you desire in your personal life a reality. By connecting with like-minded people and being open and honest, real change can and will happen. So quit trying to do it on your own and become an active member of a community because life is meant to be shared with others.
Popularity: 1% [?]
No related posts.
Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.
13 comments
Church has taught me that So much of what actually works is counter intutive… If you want money, give money to someone / something else first, or if you want something done, then do something for someone else first.
These values aren’t only to be found in a christian church. However, the power of the church to ME is that it is where I found them.
Hey Cameron, great post. In my mind, what you’re talking about is a kind of American individualism run amok. So many Americans think they need to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps in order to have their lives mean anything. It’s a myth that Americans keep telling themselves over and over, and This individualism isn’t always a problem, obviously, but I think our society’s obsession with it gets in the way of the kind of change and growth that you’re talking about.
Thanks Cameron.
As Howie Schwartz says “Environment trumps discipline.”
I think what the community does is keeps us accountable. It builds a strong sense of expectation from each of us.
Saying that, we should keep in mind that a single candle is enough to spread the light. You shouldn’t hesitate in doing what you think is right – just because the community may frown upon it.
Eg: If you want to stop drinking, but make an excuse that you can’t because there is no AA chapter near where you live… thats a pathetic excuse.
Great change is possible by a single individual too. A community may just help make things easier.
I agree that the best results are when we connect with others to help them and to help ourselves. Role-models and trusted advisors who are willing to be honest with us are two great ways to improve. I also believe that you need some sort of training on how to approach change in your personal life, by having the right goal in mind. My goal is not to work out everyday ( which I do) but to meet my grandchildrens children. The larger goal pushed me to do things which will not pay off for a long time. Being part of a family, community or an organization has true value in one’s development. My blog gives lots of ways to think about achieving the important things in your life….Lee
I find that as my husband and I are getting ready to have children that a sense of community is very important. Before when we move from place to place, we never think too much about it. I did not care about meeting my neighbors or my local stores, or even connecting with anyone. Now I find that asking for help is much easier than chasing my own tail.
@ Martin,
It’s so true, much of Christianity is goes completely against the patterns of the world. Must be why it strikes such controversy, haha!
@ Mike,
You’re right. It’s such a fine line between being independent and staying connected and often America pushes the individualism route a bit too far. I think there’s nothing wrong with being able to do things on your own, it’s just that all of us have weak areas the we need help with, no matter who we are. There needs to be balance.
@ Ankesh,
Your last statement hits the nail on the head. Individuals can do a great deal, but communities multiply the outcome.
@ Lee,
Great wisdom about the need to set the right goals. I agree that it is a necessary part of change moving you in the right direction. Will be checking out your blog!
@ Asithi,
You’ve discovered a great truth. Having community to help you through life is much more efficient. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel when you can just ask someone who has been there and done that.
I was led here by a fellow Christian. I appreciate the message of community. Our cars, our rugged individualism have been tremendous helps in difficult times, but yes, I think it has gone too far. Certainly in emotional matters, we need each other if only to bounce ideas off of, to know if we are out of step with expected behaviors.
Pardon my politicizing but taking a big picture, I think we as a nation are going too far toward consequence avoidance. By putting all our ills in the hands of big government to fix, we have taken accountability out of the local community. We don’t associate the taxes with our neighbor’s alcohol habit, but welfare funds that habit.
Left to the local community, especially faith based programs non-government funded philanthropy puts accountability at the local level so the plumber, the mechanic are the ones answering the needs and are ensuring their good gifts aren’t abused. They might even offer on the job training to someone. No 35 levels of administers to push paperwork until the check gets to the needy. Just our little back door ministry to help those neighbors who need some guidance and a strong hand to help them discover their worth.
In trying to develop my business, this has been a key principle I’ve missed out on so far. You have the business plan, the marketing campaign, the right staff, but you don’t have the network to test it out. In trying to develop the “supply” side, I ignored the “demand”.
A lot of businesses actually start out with “demand” and do so through fulfilling connections within the community. Religious orgs, interest groups, vendor-sponsored parties are so important to the development model, but so easily forgotten.
I think the reason is because its intangible. Creating spreadsheets, briefs, workflows is tangible, presentable material, especially in the short-term. Long-term community building is much more difficult to put in your boss’ lap for him to appreciate. Right now, its treated as the “cost of doing business”. You gotta get it done so you can get back to real work. Whereas the real work is really about connecting your employees around a central theme, getting them to meet others who believe in your mission. Your product will sell itself if you have the right relationships.
We waste too much time analyzing the status quo when we could be out in the community talking about a better future.
@ JudgeRight,
I agree, I’m a big proponent that decisions made at the local level are far better than those left to federal government. Thriving and active communities are key to this, if they don’t participate the system is doomed from the start.
@ Akshay,
You touched on a great point, being an active member in the community is very important for startups, but sometimes overlooked. I wonder if anyone has ever done a study of how the success of a startup is effected by how involved in the community the founders are?
[...] Committed to a Cause The No. 1 Lifehack You can Implement Today to Make the World a Better Place Change is a Community Project [...]
[...] months ago I ran across a blog article by Cameron Schaefer called Change is a Community Project. His article should be called the Borgification of the Church. For those of you who are not Star [...]
Cameron-
What about when the group is wrong? What about when God gives you a vision to do something-like the Prophets? Were they wrong for standing against the “collective wisdom” of their community? And final question-what about the role of the Holy Spirit in bringing about change?
The prophets were sent to a people who were ignoring or opposing good, right, improvement, etc., The prophets’ appeal was to the conscience of the individual. Their words are recorded in history because they stood out in a time of community foolishness. God works from the inside out. Collectivism is not a good unto itself. It is only in the focus to be and do good that individuals or groups can make real progress. One of the fatal mistakes we make as collectivists is to protect individuals and groups from the consequences of their behaviors. The further from their consequences the more foolish people are becoming. I believe the Holy Spirit ensures the continuing voice of wisdom both in the conscience of the individual as well as bringing up prophets to make that wisdom available to the general population in a tangible way.
Leave a Comment