On Afghanistan, waterboarding and COIN:

1) A fascinating paragraph from Robert Kaplan’s latest article on Afghanistan in The Atlantic (h/t Andrew Sullivan):

The very prospect of some success by July 2011 increases the likelihood that U.S. forces will be in Afghanistan in substantial numbers for years. In effect, the proficiency of the American military causes it to be overextended. British Major General Richard Barrons, a veteran of the Balkans and Iraq now serving in Afghanistan, told me he learned during the most depressing days in Baghdad that “the long view is the primary weapon against fate.” If you are willing to stay, you can turn any situation around for the good. But that is an imperial mind-set, with its assumption of a near-permanent presence, which today’s Washington cannot abide, even as its own strategy drives toward that outcome.

2)  On Waterboarding: here and here (caution: disturbing)

3) Getting Close to the Afghans:

Our distance from the population, and the enemy’s proximity, encourage the people to alert the insurgents when our troops approach. They encourage the people to keep quiet about IEDs, which are now powerful enough to kill passengers in our best armored vehicles. Force protection measures thus result in less protection for our troops.

The risk aversion among American commanders has many sources. Fear of casualties and doubts about our purpose in Afghanistan cause segments of American society to pillory units that sustain large casualties, and to ignore units that cling to large bases and accomplish little. Talk of troop withdrawal dates discourages leaders from taking short-term risks for long-term gain.

Part of the blame lies within the military, which has often promoted risk-avoiders ahead of risk-takers, and has undervalued other attributes of vital importance in counterinsurgency such as creativity, sociability and empathy. The extent to which American units collaborate with Afghan security forces and obtain assistance from the population depends primarily on these attributes, and it varies widely.

On millenials, the economy and the coming anarchy (light reading, I know, sorry Linda):

1) The Dropout Economy a.k.a. when Millenials get tired of paying for the broken system created by the baby boomers and decide to opt-out. (h/t Shlok Vaidya)

Look at the projections of fiscal doom emanating from the federal government, and consider the possibility that things could prove both worse and better. Worse because the jobless recovery we all expect could be severe enough to starve the New Deal social programs on which we base our life plans. Better because the millennial generation could prove to be more resilient and creative than its predecessors, abandoning old, familiar and broken institutions in favor of new, strange and flourishing ones.

Imagine a future in which millions of families live off the grid, powering their homes and vehicles with dirt-cheap portable fuel cells. As industrial agriculture sputters under the strain of the spiraling costs of water, gasoline and fertilizer, networks of farmers using sophisticated techniques that combine cutting-edge green technologies with ancient Mayan know-how build an alternative food-distribution system. Faced with the burden of financing the decades-long retirement of aging boomers, many of the young embrace a new underground economy, a largely untaxed archipelago of communes, co-ops, and kibbutzim that passively resist the power of the granny state while building their own little utopias.

2) Britain ‘four meals away from anarchy’ (h/t John Robb)

…at least there’s always music, check out this sweet visualization - Rock ‘N Roll Metro Map

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This was the title of a recent sermon I heard last Sunday at church. It struck a chord because it put into words an often overlooked reality: real change takes community.

Many of today’s most popular authors, talk-show hosts, and life coaches preach that YOU have the power to change yourself. If you just look inside yourself, focus on enough positive thoughts, profess the correct words over yourself, than you can do it. And why not? The thought strikes an emotional chord in all of us. We desperately want to believe that we hold the power of change inside of us. But we don’t.

All of us have tried to change things on our own and how has that worked out? Maybe you are a superman or woman, but I would be lying if I told you that my solo-attempts at change resulted in great success. From working out more consistently, to becoming more patient, to sticking to a budget…constant failure. Each time was like running my car into a brick wall, backing up, pressing harder on the gas pedal and running into it again. Why? I was ignoring an inconvenient truth:

Change does not happen in isolation, change happens in the midst of quality human relationships.

Why do we run from this reality? Could it be that in our pride we don’t like the idea of exposing our weaknesses to others? Does it hurt our ego’s that maybe we can’t do everything on our own?

There is a toxic idea being preached in modern society that the strength of a man or woman is found in their independence. It’s a false and destructive idea.

We are the strongest when we are connected to others.

Since creation, man has been meeting together in groups whenever something needs to be accomplished. And in the process of meeting a need, each member of the group is strengthened. The local church, Alcoholics Anonymous, the Freemasons, political parties, book clubs, and bowling leagues just to name a few. In all of it, there is a common understanding that two heads are better than one and the strengths and weaknesses found in a diverse group of people can be matched in a way that makes everyone better.

But lately this trend of civic, religious, political and every other type of community involvement has taken a nosedive. Robert Putnam’s landmark study of American community in “Bowling Alone,” showed a distinct trend of more isolation rather than connectedness.  This dangerous pattern must be reversed, and quickly.

If you want lasting, meaningful change, you must surround yourselves with people who can help guide you in the right direction. In my own life, the local church has provided a crucial role in helping me develop into the type of person I want to be.

Without the relationships I experienced in this setting I would still be stuck fighting the same personal struggles I was 6 years ago…no progress. Instead I have been able to grow, develop and in doing so help mentor others in the same areas in which I used to struggle.

Real development and real change because of real relationships.

The following are just a few benefits of being part of a community:

1) Empathy – in a community of diverse people with various backgrounds, the chances of meeting someone who has already gone through the very things you struggle with are quite high. Someone will understand where you’re coming from and this will provide you with encouragement and a feeling of safety and trust.

2) Accountability – As I have blogged about before, there is no use developing a personal goal unless you plan on having someone hold you accountable. Someone to call you each week and make sure you are staying on track, someone to walk through the process with you. Being a part of community automatically gives you a support team ready to hold you accountable.

3) Collective Wisdom – Great decisions happen in the counsel of many advisers. The “wisdom of the crowds” makes being connected to a strong and intelligent crowd incredibly important when trying to navigate through life. If you don’t know the answer to a question, someone in your community probably does. Your weaknesses are offset by community’s strengths.

4) Networking – Ever met those people in life that have “a guy” for almost everything? They navigate through life with ease because they know the right people. Are they just lucky? Chances are, they have discovered the power of networking. Being part of a healthy community offers countless opportunities to network and in doing so make connections that will greatly benefit every area of your life.

Being a part of a community like your local church, reading group, or running club is the quickest way to make the changes you desire in your personal life a reality. By connecting with like-minded people and being open and honest, real change can and will happen. So quit trying to do it on your own and become an active member of a community because life is meant to be shared with others.

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For the past couple weeks I have been participating in the Air Force’s survival and resistance training course at Fairchild AFB in Spokane, WA, hence my lack of blog posts or communication as of late.  Driving home last Friday night I pulled onto my street and saw excited kids and families all shooting off fireworks together, a real Norman Rockwell scene.  And as I rounded the corner to our new house…I saw my wife and daughter.

It is hard to describe all the different emotions that ran through me as I pulled into our driveway.  A huge feeling of relief, joy, thankfulness and general relaxation washed over me like a wave.  It dawned on me as this was happening that EVERYONE NEEDS A HOME.

Now, I realize that not everyone is blessed to have grown up in a home environment or currently live in one that inspires the types of feelings I mentioned above.  To some the idea of home may actually be more akin to a nightmare than a place where you can hang your hat and fall into the love of your family.  Nevertheless, the need for a home is inside all of us.

Many have called this The Cheers Principle.  The lyrics to the show’s theme song reveal much about human nature and our desire for authentic community.

Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name,
And they’re always glad you came;
You want to be where you can see,
Our troubles are all the same;
You want to be where everybody knows your name.

Understanding this principle can have dramatic effects on the way we lead and see the world around us.  In short, organizations that can make their employees and customers feel at home achieve the greatest success.

Creating a place where someone feels at home requires:

1. Trust – an organization lacking the trust of its employees and/or customers is much like a machine without oil, it will continue to operate, but each movement requires more work than the one before…and in the end it will self-destruct.  Trust is the greatest of social lubricants, allowing us to focus on the outcome more than grinding through the process.
2. Joy – do people smile in your organization?  Do they laugh?  Is it FUN?  One of the quickest ways to judge whether or not your organization is inspiring joy is to observe how often you hear side-splitting laughter.  Joy is a healthy part of every family environment.
3. Consistency – one thing about family is you always know what to expect.  Sure there are surprises every now and then, but in the end it’s a lot like Thanksgiving.  Uncle Joe will make an awkward toast, Cousin Cindy will make the same candied yams she has for the past 15 years and someone will be in the corner recliner snoring before the dessert has even been passed out.  We love it because it’s uniquely ours and it’s consistent.
4. Love – simple, not easy.  Love is living for someone else’s good.  Without love there is no home.  Without love an organization is simply going through the motions and has no chance of inspiring passion, courage, or dedication.

Us twentysomethings love community and we recognize and appreciate the organizations that know how to create a home.  Think of your favorite restaurant, coffee shop, or retail store.  Chances are you feel at home in each of them.  Do the employees know your name?  Are they always glad you came?

Just look at Google, they’ve taken this idea of creating a home seriously.  Check out the Top 10 Reasons to Work at Google taken straight from their website and notice how many times you see the traits of a home I mentioned above:

1. Lend a helping hand. With millions of visitors every month, Google has become an essential part of everyday life – like a good friend – connecting people with the information they need to live great lives.
2. Life is beautiful. Being a part of something that matters and working on products in which you can believe is remarkably fulfilling.
3. Appreciation is the best motivation, so we’ve created a fun and inspiring workspace you’ll be glad to be a part of, including on-site doctor and dentist; massage and yoga; professional development opportunities; on-site day care; shoreline running trails; and plenty of snacks to get you through the day.
4. Work and play are not mutually exclusive. It is possible to code and pass the puck at the same time.
5. We love our employees, and we want them to know it. Google offers a variety of benefits, including a choice of medical programs, company-matched 401(k), stock options, maternity and paternity leave, and much more.
6. Innovation is our bloodline. Even the best technology can be improved. We see endless opportunity to create even more relevant, more useful, and faster products for our users. Google is the technology leader in organizing the world’s information.
7. Good company everywhere you look. Googlers range from former neurosurgeons, CEOs, and U.S. puzzle champions to alligator wrestlers and former-Marines. No matter what their backgrounds Googlers make for interesting cube mates.
8. Uniting the world, one user at a time. People in every country and every language use our products. As such we think, act, and work globally – just our little contribution to making the world a better place.
9. Boldly go where no one has gone before. There are hundreds of challenges yet to solve. Your creative ideas matter here and are worth exploring. You’ll have the opportunity to develop innovative new products that millions of people will find useful.
10. There is such a thing as a free lunch after all. In fact we have them every day: healthy, yummy, and made with love.

Whether you are a business, church, or government organization you can benefit from creating an environment that feels like home.  Humans are social creatures made to thrive in relationship with one another.  Home is THE BEST social environment if done well.  It is good to be home.

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Here are the links to my latest guest posts: Why You Need Community to Reach Your Goals on Alex Blackwell’s blog, the Next 45 Years. AND “What an All-You-Can-Eat Buffet Can Teach You About Investing” on The Dividend Guy. Just happened to come out on the same day. Enjoy!

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Man is a social animal. As humans we spend much of our lives seeking social interaction and connectedness of all kinds, the quality of our lives being determined, in large part, by our success in this endeavor. God understanding this important element of our nature declared upon the creation of Adam, “It is not good for man to be alone,” – Genesis 2:18. From reading groups to Sunday school classes, support groups to hobby clubs, small groups have become an important way of satisfying this hunger by providing a point of contact for people; a way to spread ideas, provide care and support and enable people to become part of something larger than themselves. Study any great social movement and you will find the primacy of small groups as a leading contributor to their success.

A chapter in one of my favorite books, “Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community,” by Robert Putnam, describes the growth of small groups over the past several years in the midst of a steady decline in virtually all other forms of community involvement. “Sociologist Robert Wuthnow, the leading student of the small-group movement, reports that fully 40 percent of all Americans claim to be ‘currently involved in [a] small group that meets regularly and provides support or caring for those who participate in it,” (pg 149). He then goes on describing this growth in small groups as, “a ‘quiet revolution’ in American society, redefining community in a more fluid way, an antidote to social disconnectedness,” (pg 149).

Being both a member and leader of small groups in the past I have seen the results of small group participation. On one end of the spectrum I have cultivated “weak ties” with an incredibly large and diverse group of individuals, ties that may lie dormant for years, but awaken and provide incredible value at another juncture in life. At the opposite end of the spectrum I have formed incredibly strong friendships that I still enjoy today. I have witnessed weak people become strong and stupid people become wise…myself included. All this to say, I am a believer that participation in small groups is a sure path to a richer and more powerful life. Below are the advantages to participating in a small group:

1) Feeding the Beast – As discussed above we have a natural desire to form relationships. Small groups provide one of the best possible environments for this synthesis as they are normally based on common interests taking away a large portion of the awkwardness that many times comes with being thrown together with a group of strangers. In fact, many of the most successful small groups are completely organic and informal, coming about through preexisting relationships. Many of you probably already belong to several small groups, you just don’t view them in this light. A group of guys that meet every Saturday morning at Hardee’s to discuss current events, football, and the latest town news, a group of climbers that meet every month to summit a new mountain. These are all small groups and provide the the same social interaction, sometimes even better than more formal organizations.

2) Human Filters – One of the greatest aspects of belonging to a small group is the opportunity to share and discuss ideas. I’m a firm believer that open debate allows the best ideas to rise to the top while the worst are quickly cast aside…its what makes free societies prosper. Naturally, all of this is dependent on the caliber of people you have in your small group. Having people to bounce ideas off is a luxury that will time after time save one from making unnecessary mistakes made by other members of the group in times past. The passing on and filtering of knowledge and wisdom is an aspect of small groups that accounts for their popularity among academic circles and is something we can all benefit from.

3) Support and Security – A final aspect of small groups I have witnessed time and again is that of support and security, members taking care of one another and providing care and help during times of crisis. According to Wuthnow’s studies, “Nearly two out of five members of such groups reported that other members had helped them out when someone was sick, three in five said that their group had extended help to someone outside the group, and four out of five agreed that they group made them ‘feel like you weren’t alone,’” (pg 149). It is a sad reality that many people have no one to turn to when things go wrong. Small groups connect people in such a way that they feel responsible for the care of fellow members, providing a second-family to help navigate the perils life often throws our way.

Never has there been such variety in small groups available as there is today. Add to this the rapid growth in the use of the internet as a forum for creating and administrating these groups and there is really no reason not to find ways to connect. Recently I created a book club using Google Groups for myself and many friends located in various locations throughout the U.S. It is a whole discussion entirely as to the merits of this new online method of social interaction and its ability to take the place of traditional, face-to-face relationships, but it has definitely been a great way of keeping connected with friends while reading good books and learning new things. Whether you use the internet or not, small groups remain a wonderful way to connect yourself to others…something we all need.

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