Many of you know that I’ve been running off an on for the past year.  I ran a half-marathon in April with plans to run a full marathon this month in Seattle.  Well, instead of running over the past few months I’ve been flying all over the world like it’s my job…but, it actually is my job…so I guess that little saying doesn’t work there. Anyway, looks like it will be another half-marathon until I can get back into a regular training routine, but just to run a race will be great.

*Sidenote*  For those of you who have been commenting about my infrequent posting status as of late, it is due to the fact that I have been gone 30 out of the last 60 days, often without a computer or internet access.  Places like Afghanistan aren’t well-known for their wi-fi hotspots.  In the next couple months we’ll be getting a second laptop that I can take on the road with me, so hopefully I can get back into the swing of things and resume a more steady posting schedule.  Thanks for your patience!

I was rummaging through the mail when I got home from my last trip and came across a running shoe advertisement for Nike that caught my attention.  I’m not sure what it is about Nike, but since the beginning they have been able to successfully capture the grit and grind of running that makes it so terrible and at the same time so wonderful.  Nike understands the love/hate relationship that a runner has with his sport and they use it to their advantage.

Without analyzing too much, I present to you the ad in it’s entirety in hopes that it will provide some motivation to those of you training for your next 5k, half-marathon, etc. and as an example of great advertising:

You pretended the snooze button didn’t exist.  You dragged your butt out of bed while others slept.  While others ate their pancakes.  You had a feast of protein, glucose and electrolytes.  You double-knotted.  You left the porch light on and locked the door behind you.  You ran.  5ks, 10ks, 26.2 miles.  Some days more, some days less.  You rewarded a long run with a short run.  And a short run with a long run.  Rain tried to slow you.  Sun tried to microwave you.  Snow made you feel like a warrior.  You cramped.  You bonked.  You paid no mind to comfort.  On weekends.  On holidays.  You made excuses to keep going.  Questioned yourself.  Played mind games.  Put your heart before your knees.  Listened to your breathing.  Sweat sunscreen into your eyes.  Worked on your farmer’s tan.  You hit the wall.  You went through it.  You decided to be a man about it.  You decided to be a woman about it.  Finished what you started.  Proved what you were made of.  Just kept putting mile after mile on your internal odometer.  For 25 years, you ran.  And we ran with you.  How much farther will we go?  As far as you will.

Quit making excuses…go run.

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Continuing on in our series, we take a look at a few more sections from the classic 1951 version of, “The Air Force Officer’s Guide.”  The topic of leadership is discussed by many and understood by few.  The military relies on it everyday and trains it’s officers to lead men and women in day-to-day tasks as well as in combat.  More than any other environment, the military is the greatest leadership laboratory.  And intimately connected to leadership is it’s partner unselfishness.

Many mistakenly view leadership as an opportunity to control others and use them to serve one’s own purposes.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  True leadership is found in serving others rather than being served.  Only someone who is unselfish can grasp the true meaning and power of great leadership.

Here’s what the guide has to say on leadership and unselfishness:

Leadership.  The officers is trained to lead.  From his earliest days the tradition is ground into him.  He becomes accustomed to receive and execute missions.  This requires him to plan work, assign missions to others, and then to see that their work is done skillfully and in cooperation with others. As he grows older his training and experience broadens and increases his capabilities; this is generally accompanied by greater responsibilities. Thus the tradition of leadership deepens. Just as he is trained to lead others, he is trained to be led by others. For no military person can rise so high, or attain so great a position, that he is not responsible to another. The Chief of Staff reports and is responsible to the Secretary of the Air Force who in turn reports to the Secretary of Defense. Military leadership requires ability to develop teamwork and at the same time to be part of a team.

Unselfishness.  The officer is confronted constantly with putting someone or something ahead of his personal likes or dislikes or preferences.  When he is in command of men he must see to it that their needs are satisfied before he cares for his own comforts. If his assignment takes him east when he prefers to go west, he goes east. If he wishes a course at a service school and is sent to an obscure post on duty of small appeal, he forgoes the school. When the good of the Air Force or of his unit requires him to do or forgo doing something which he wants, the proper officer takes the action which is for the good of the service. These examples with countless others emphasize the life of unselfishness which is the life of the officer.

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A recent post over at Art of Manliness entitled, “The 35 Greatest Speeches in History,” caused me to think the other day of some of my personal favorites.  One that immediately stood out was the words of legendary football coach Vince Lombardi on what it takes to be No. 1.

Several years ago, in high school sometime, a parent of one of the players on our football team printed this out for each of us before a game.  I stuck it on my bathroom mirror and it has traveled with me since then, always finding it’s way to a prominent place in the house.  This morning I share these great words with you.  While they are spoken about football, I think you’ll see that they are applicable to everyday living as well:

“What it Takes to be No. 1″ by Vince Lombardi

Winning is not a sometime thing; it´s an all the time thing. You don´t win once in a while; you don´t do things right once in a while; you do them right all the time. Winning is a habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.

There is no room for second place. There is only one place in my game, and that´s first place. I have finished second twice in my time at Green Bay, and I don´t ever want to finish second again. There is a second place bowl game, but it is a game for losers played by losers. It is and always has been an American zeal to be first in anything we do, and to win, and to win, and to win.

Every time a football player goes to play his trade he´s got to play from the ground up-from the soles of his feet right up to his head. Every inch of him has to play. Some guys play with their heads. That´s O.K. You´ve got to be smart to be number one in any business. But more importantly, you´ve got to play with your heart, with every fiber of your body. If you´re lucky enough to find a guy with a lot of head and a lot of heart, he´s never going to come off the field second.

Running a football team is no different than running any other kind of organization-an army, a political party or a business. The principles are the same. The object is to win-to beat the other guy. Maybe that sounds hard or cruel. I don´t think it is.

It is a reality of life that men are competitive and the most competitive games draw the most competitive men. That´s why they are there-to compete. To know the rules and objectives when they get in the game. The object is to win fairly, squarely, by the rules-but to win.

And in truth, I´ve never known a man worth his salt who in the long run, deep down in his heart, didn´t appreciate the grind, the discipline. There is something in good men that really yearns for discipline and the harsh reality of head to head combat.

I don´t say these things because I believe in the “brute” nature of man or that men must be brutalized to be combative. I believe in God, and I believe in human decency. But I firmly believe that any man´s finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle – victorious.

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“Quit? You know, once I was thinking of quitting when I was diagnosed with brain, lung and testicular cancer all at the same time. But with the love and support of my friends and family, I got back on the bike and won the Tour de France five times in a row. But I’m sure you have a good reason to quit. So what are you dying of that’s keeping you from the finals?” – Lance Armstrong in “Dodgeball“

By now most of us know the incredible story of Lance Armstrong, the Texas native that came back from cancer to win 7 consecutive Tour de France titles from 1999-2005. He has inspired many and is now busy trying to conquer his next challenge, the sport of running. He ran his first marathon in 2006 finishing in 2:59:36 (if you’re not sure, this is really good). He recently completed this year’s Boston Marathon in 2:50:58. Elite runners, watch your backs.

The story is amazing because it seems so supernatural and unreal. When staring at the list of Armstrong’s achievements the natural question is how? How does a man go from his deathbed to winning one the toughest sporting events in the world 1,2,3….7 times in a row! How does one maintain that much consistency? Lance has told us, “It’s Not About the Bike,” and I would agree — I think the majority of the answer to “how” lies in Lance Armstrong’s mental toughness.

Mental toughness is talked about a lot, but understood by very few. It is the ability to will oneself through less than ideal situations and conditions whether that be battling cancer or simply waking up early to go workout. Mental toughness can come from many sources such as:

• overcoming a difficult childhood
• a deep faith in God
• battling an addiction or disease
• undergoing military training
• consistent physical exertion

I know several people that I would consider mentally tough from WWII veterans to outdoor adventurers to Christian missionaries, but my friend Beau Suder is the first that comes to mind.

Beau has been an incredibly close friend for some time now so I’ve gotten to see his “inner workings,” a bit more than most folks. In high school Beau was an amazing athlete. Was it because he was 6′2” 220lbs with a 50-inch vertical? No, it was because he worked harder and pushed himself more than anyone else on the field. I have several stories I could tell, but I’ll keep this short.

Beau ended up playing football for the Air Force Academy, but struggled with a nagging shoulder injury. One night, while playing UNLV, he made a big hit on a guy and came trotting to the sideline holding his arm which was completely limp – he had dislocated his shoulder. I was on the sidelines and cringed thinking he would be out for the game if not longer. The next thing I saw was him talking to the trainer and the trainer popping his shoulder back in right there on the sidelines. One play later, Beau was trotting back onto the field to play the rest of the game! This is mental toughness, ignoring pain and performing under less than ideal circumstances.

As I began thinking about how one builds mental toughness I realized that while there are many ways it comes about, for the majority of people, consistent and intense physical exertion is the most accessible and common way to build mental toughness. You can’t help if you grew up in a posh suburban environment with loving parents or have never battled cancer, and the majority of people will never undergo the type of training that comes standard in the military, but everyone can go on a long run or work out until their bodies are screaming to stop. With that in mind, here are some keys to building mental toughness that anyone can follow:

1. Show Up – “Everybody wants to know what I’m on. What am I on? I’m on my bike busting my ass six hours a day. What are you on? ” – Lance Armstrong

What separates a guy like Lance from 99% of the world is the fact that he showed up everyday, when it was raining, when it was hot, when he was sore, when he was tired….he showed up everyday. JUST SHOW UP! What happens after you show up is where the real fun begins, but most people can’t even make it to that point. If it’s working out, tell a friend you’ll meet them at a certain time so you will be less likely to back out. If it’s battling an addiction, make yourself go to a recovery group every time it meets.

2. Hurt Vs. Injured – “Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.” – Lance Armstrong.

My high school football coach, John Deti, used to always ask players that limped to the sidelines during a game, are you hurt or injured? This may seem trite to some, but he was keying in on a fundamental issue. Soreness, stiffness, bruises…these are just parts of any game or any physically demanding activity, but they should not keep one from continuing. Injuries on the other hand, like muscle tears, broken bones, etc. are a different thing entirely and should be taken care of. One of the best ways to develop mental toughness is extreme physical exertion…if there is no discomfort , you aren’t pushing yourself hard enough. This is different from causing injury which hinders you rather than helping.

3. Unfamiliar and Unexpected Are Your Friends – Part of building mental toughness involves being comfortable performing in stressful situations. One of the best ways to develop this trait is by consistently doing things you have never done or trying things a different way. Fear of the unknown keeps many from ever developing mental toughness, but by consistently placing yourself in unfamiliar situations you can learn to deal with stress and fear. Some good ones that I’ve tried include rock climbing, attending the Air Force Academy, swimming (what is recreation for most used to stress me out since I was a terrible swimmer until recently) and mountain biking. You don’t have to do something crazy, just something that you don’t normally do and something that puts a little fear in your heart.

4. What’s Your Motivation – Whenever you find yourself in a tough position you will need something you can focus on to provide motivation. I don’t know exactly what Lance focused on during the hill climbs of the Tour de France, but I’m sure it included a mixture of other cancer patients he had met along the way, yellow jackets and a finish line. Lately, for me it has been my daughter and my desire to have her look at her father’s life someday and say, “Wow, he really pushed himself and accomplished some great things.” I want her to be as proud of me as I am of her. Whatever it is, everyone has to find something to focus on for motivation. If you allow your mind to focus on your pain or your laziness you will have a hard time pushing through any adversity.

5. Constantly Challenge Yourself – What most people fail to understand is that mental toughness is something that has to be practiced and developed over time. The key to this is placing yourself in challenging situations…constantly doing things that are hard. This is a fundamental principle of military training. Sure, push-ups and sit-ups help develop you physically, but after a couple hundred of them it becomes much more of a mental game than a physical one. The military uses physical training and yelling because it creates a stressful environment that breeds mental toughness and forces one to deal with intense discomfort and anxiety, the fact that it gets you in shape is a side benefit.

6. Surround Yourself with Lance’s and Beau’s – As with most things in life, you will become who you spend time with. So, if you want to get more mentally tough, spend time with people that already are. It’s contagious. I always love working out with Beau because just when I’ve had it and am ready to leave the gym he is just starting…he pushes me by his example. Lately I’ve been pouring myself into training for a marathon. Being as I’ve never run one I have tried to meet and talk to others that have in hopes of gleaning some insight and motivation from them. Whether you are training for a marathon or not, surrounding yourself with other mentally tough people is a sure way to become mentally tough yourself.

Mental toughness isn’t about being macho or cocky, it’s about coping with stress, anxiety and pain. It’s about running another lap when your throat is burning, doing 20 more push-ups after your arms start to shake and doing the things others aren’t willing to do.

This trait is beneficial not just for the Navy SEAL, but for the 9-5 average Joe as well. When one looks at people like Lance, the Ironman triathalete, or the Vietnam POW it is easy to say, “I could never make it through something like that or be as strong as them.” The fact is, they too had to develop their mental toughness just like everyone else, day after day after day. Simple, but not easy.

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Several months ago I decided that 2008 would be the year for me to run a marathon, something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, but always put off. Yesterday I ran my first half-marathon, a check point for me to see just where I am in my running journey.

The run went well and I completed the 13.1-mile course in a time of 1:43:38…about a 7:55 pace. I felt pretty pleased with myself until later in the afternoon when I saw the time for the winner who blazed through the course finishing in 1:08:06…35 minutes ahead of me! Now I know that running is supposed to be about competing against yourself and not worrying about other racers, blah blah blah, but the fact is I love competition and reading his time had an effect on me.

At this moment I had two choices:

• Be discouraged and decide I would never be able to run with the “big boys” OR

• Realize that while the process will take time and a lot of hard work, there’s no reason I can’t slowly cut away at this gap and become a great runner in the process.

NOW, this decision is what this post is all about – I don’t believe my choice to use his time as motivation rather than discouragement was an accident or simply a result of me being an optimist. It’s because I’ve had the opportunity to be in “Mr. 1:08’s” shoes before, not in the same sport, but different ones at various times — I’ve experienced winning and in doing so have gained some valuable insight:

The difference between first and second place is incredibly small. Winners know this and losers don’t.

In the 2004 Olympic games the difference between gold and silver in the 100-meter dash was .01 seconds…one one-hundredth of a second! If a couple muscle fibers had twitched a bit slower for champion Justin Gatlin his life from that moment on would have been completely different.

The person coming in second often feels like there is a huge chasm separating them from the winner’s circle. The champion understands that the margin between him and the guy right behind him is incredibly thin and easily gained and lost.

It is this perspective that enables some to excel in nearly everything, while others find nothing, but struggle and defeat. If one believes that the void between their present position and where they want to be is small and ultimately attainable then they will approach each endeavor EXPECTING victory. While this may seem insignificant to some, I believe it is a key trait of champions both in sports and life.

Those who expect to win view trials and tribulations along their journey very lightly, not paying them much attention. But those with no expectation of succeeding view bumps in the road as confirmation that they shouldn’t be on the road in the first place. Self-fulfilling prophecy at its finest.

Life’s battles don’t always go to the stronger or faster man. But sooner or later the man who wins, is the man who thinks he can. – Vince Lombardi

So how does one develop this outlook on life? Here’s a few thoughts:

• Hang Out With Winners – One of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever received is to spend time with the types of people you want to become. By spending time with successful people, not only will you have a chance to find out what makes them tick, but you’ll naturally begin to mimic their actions and attitudes.

• Put Yourself in A Position to Win – Sometimes, no matter how bad you believe you can succeed you’re not going to because you’ve made too many poor choices along the way. Winners understand there is no quick fix or secret solution. Without preparation you can kiss success goodbye. Excellence doesn’t just appear randomly, it is a habit that must be exercised daily.

• You Can’t Win At Everything, Don’t Try – I get really tired of hearing people say that you can do anything if you just believe or confess it enough times. It’s simply not true. My friend Lucas has an incredible ability to create beautiful pieces of pottery. I would love to be a great potter, but I’ve tried and I don’t have the patience or the vision. I could spend my life confessing and believing “I will be a wonderful potter,” but the reality is, it’s not going to happen and it would be a waste of time for me to pursue this goal. Attitude and believing you can succeed are only a part of the equation, they are not the sole element.

• Winning Attitude Does Not Equal Cocky Attitude – Make no mistake, I’m not advocating a swagger or cockiness. It is completely possible to be confident without being a jerk about it. Some of the most successful people I know are also the most humble…remember, the gap between first and second is small…just because you win doesn’t mean no one can touch you.

I sincerely hope this post doesn’t come off as one more self-help, “Secret”, 5 Steps to Victory-type post. My purpose for writing this was simply to show that people can look at a situation and either see an obstacle or they can see nothing and just keep winning. It’s not a secret, it’s just a reality

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This week I was in Pensacola, Florida where I went through the Air Force’s Water Survival course. From the Air Force fact sheet, “The course centers it’s training on aircrews, which utilize parachuting as the primary means of escape. Instruction includes initial academic training, parachute equipment procedures, parachute drag training, post egress and recovery training which includes a deep water landing, and a one to two hour raft familiarization exercise.” Basically, I learned what to do if I ever have to jump out of a plane and parachute into the ocean.

One of the most memorable parts of the course dealt with the story of a Chinese sailor in WWII, named Poon Lim, who survived alone in a life raft for 133 days in the Atlantic after his ship was torpedoed by a German U-boat. The fact that he survived for so long is incredible enough, but what struck me the most was the fact that at the time of his rescue, after more than four months on a 8 ft. square raft, he was quite healthy, having lost only 20lbs and walking away under his own strength. Not only did he live, he lived well!

Aside from the inevitable, “What would I have done?” question, there are a few lessons in skilled living I took away from this incredible survival story:

Things Will Go Wrong, Accept It – I’m sure Lim didn’t wake up that day expecting to get hit by a torpedo, but the unexpected happened and he found himself in a mess. Lim could have easily given up, bitter and hopeless, but he accepted that the world around him had fallen apart and dealt with it.

No matter how well we plan for the future bad things are going to happen, things we are unable to predict. Some people handle these life disasters well, coming out stronger at the other end. Others are completely knocked out, unable to recover. Learn what separates these two types of people and change your life accordingly.

Learn to Adapt – After two hours floating in the sea Lim found a small life raft and climbed aboard onto what would become his new home. On the raft were some biscuits, water, flares and an electric torch. Lim was now alone in the middle of the Atlantic with very few supplies, a situation that could leave many hopeless, but Lim chose to adapt to his new environment.

Poon stayed in shape by swimming laps around his raft, keeping his eyes above water at all times scanning for sharks. He gave himself small rations of biscuits and water each day, but as the supplies ran low he had to change his survival plan.

He used the canvas covering his life jacket to collect rainwater and bent a piece of wire in his electric torch to form a hook to catch fish, using his last pieces of biscuit as bate and a hemp rope as the line. He pried a nail from a plank in the raft to catch larger fish and cut up his empty biscuit tin to make a knife. Lim had very few resources, but he adapted and this enabled him to survive.

Focus On What You Can Control – It would have been easy for Lim to lie on his raft all day thinking about when a rescue boat would pick him up, what he could do if he had more supplies or why this had all happened to him in the first place, but these things were outside his control. Instead Lim focused on the things he could control like catching fish, staying as healthy as possible, keeping his raft clean, etc. In doing so he kept himself occupied and strengthened his will to live.

Know Your Weaknesses and Deal With Them – Lim was a poor swimmer so he would often tie a rope around his wrist connecting him to the raft. Rather than accepting this weakness and moving on, Lim instead swam daily, gradually turning his weakness into a strength.

Being able to identify your weaknesses is much harder than it seems. First, we rarely want to accept that we have weaknesses in the first place and second, its often hard for us to see them even if we want to. Having close friends and mentors in your life to point out your blind spots is a key part of skilled living. Only when your weaknesses are identified do you then have a chance to deal with them.

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When it comes to New Year’s resolutions, most people I talk to roll their eyes and sigh, thinking of the futility of the whole exercise after years and years of failure. The spirit behind a New Year’s resolution is a noble one, an attempt to live a better life or do things differently. The problem is most of us just don’t approach it with much intentionality, instead making up an unattainable goal in the heat of battle, like losing 50lbs after stepping on the scale the day after Christmas. Last year about this time, my sage father-in-law showed me an incredibly simple, but effective way of making a list of goals, or resolutions, for the year and actually following through on them. This is the process:

Understand Balance – I am convinced that 99% of people’s disappointments and failures in life are simply due to imbalance in a certain area(s). Eating too much, exercising too little, not praying enough, too much time at the office, too much television, etc. The point is, there’s a happy medium in every area of our lives; a place of balance where we find our best life. All New Year’s goals should be made with the theme of balance in our minds.

Take Stock of Your Present State – Before you can decide what you want to strive for in the future you have to have a good understanding of where you are in the present. Take a pen and piece of paper and sketch out a diagram similar to the one below.

The point is to look at each area of your life, ie. family, work, spirit, body, finances, etc and take stock of where you are at this moment in time. Decide what areas are important to you and create spokes for each one. Next make tick marks on each spoke, labeling them 1-10; 1 meaning you’re failing miserably in that area and 10 meaning you are perfect, no changes necessary. Make a dot where you think you fall in each area, then connect the dots. You will probably notice immediately that the shape you’ve created has very little resemblance to a circle, which would represent perfect balance. Most likely you have some areas that you’re doing great at and others that you’re struggling. The point of this diagram is to show visually what needs to change in order to make a circle, or bring balance to your life. This diagram is the basis for creating your New Year’s goals.

Make Goals for Each Category – Now its time to actually come up with your goals. Remember, the desired end state of this whole process is a balanced life, so all individual goals should be made with this in mind. In other words, if you notice that you have a very high score for work, but a miserable one for family/marriage, make goals that will allow you more time at home and less at the office. In order to create good goals, use the SMART acronym: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Timebound. For a better explanation on creating SMART goals reference my previous post on the subject. Again, make goals that will create a circle on your diagram, which will mean putting different levels of effort and focus on each area.

Exchange Your Goals With a Close Friend – Accountability is crucial in achieving any goal in life. Find a close friend and have them go through this exercise with you, then exchange your goals and bring them up on a consistent basis throughout the year. I emphasize close friend for two reasons. First, it is likely that some of your goals will contain personal information, like investing goals, or family issues, so its important to have someone you trust. Second, only a close friend will really get on your case if you falling short in a certain area. We all need a good friend to confront us every once and a while if we really intend to make lasting change in our lives. With accountability your chances of succeeding in achieving your goals and keeping your resolutions increase dramatically.

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One of the keys to living well is setting goals for yourself. Its not a new idea, yet so few of us do it well. I think the reason for this is simple: failure. All of us have set goals before and fallen short. Every New Years millions of people resolve to lose weight, watch less television, spend more time with loved ones and by mid-Spring 99% of those goals have gone by the wayside. What’s wrong with this picture? Are some people just lazy? Absolutely, but I think many times the problem lies in the goals themselves rather than the people trying to achieve them. When its unclear exactly what you’re striving for it is much easier to give up when things get hard.

During my time at the Air Force Academy I once heard a lecture that explained a way to set SMART(Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Timebound) goals. The principle was being explained in the context of setting quality objectives at the start of a war, but I believe it translates well into ordinary life. An explanation:

Specific – something that can be easily observed, linked to a unit, percentage, time, etc. For example, “Lose weight” = BAD “Lose 50lbs” = GOOD

Measurable – Will you be able to track your progress toward the goal and know when you’ve achieved it? It must be possible to monitor and measure your goal. “Lose 50 lbs” is good because you can easily step on a scale each week to measure your progress.

Achievable – Is the goal something that can reasonably be achieved? If not, scale it down a bit. This does not mean it has to be easy, but an impossible goal motivates no one.

Relevant – Will achieving this goal bring you closer to where you want to be? Your goals should tie into a larger objective for your life. For example, if you are trying to spend more time with your family, a goal of taking on more clients at work may take you further from where you want to be.

Timebound – Every goal must have a specific time frame. Time motivates you by giving you a clear target and a sense of urgency. Without a time frame goals tend to be pushed back, put off and eventually forgotten. Ask any runner, if you have a goal to run a marathon, you have to sign up for one or you’ll never do it. The approaching race date acts as an incredible motivator during the training process. Without it, you may run, but chances are you’ll never reach your ultimate goal.

In the next month I plan on taking a closer look at goals, objectives and how to place systems in your life that will help you live your best, the high life as I like to call it. Stay tuned and please leave comments on your successes and failures in the realm of goal-setting.

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