“Quit? You know, once I was thinking of quitting when I was diagnosed with brain, lung and testicular cancer all at the same time. But with the love and support of my friends and family, I got back on the bike and won the Tour de France five times in a row. But I’m sure you have a good reason to quit. So what are you dying of that’s keeping you from the finals?” - Lance Armstrong in “Dodgeball“

By now most of us know the incredible story of Lance Armstrong, the Texas native that came back from cancer to win 7 consecutive Tour de France titles from 1999-2005. He has inspired many and is now busy trying to conquer his next challenge, the sport of running. He ran his first marathon in 2006 finishing in 2:59:36 (if you’re not sure, this is really good). He recently completed this year’s Boston Marathon in 2:50:58. Elite runners, watch your backs.

The story is amazing because it seems so supernatural and unreal. When staring at the list of Armstrong’s achievements the natural question is how? How does a man go from his deathbed to winning one the toughest sporting events in the world 1,2,3….7 times in a row! How does one maintain that much consistency? Lance has told us, “It’s Not About the Bike,” and I would agree — I think the majority of the answer to “how” lies in Lance Armstrong’s mental toughness.

Mental toughness is talked about a lot, but understood by very few. It is the ability to will oneself through less than ideal situations and conditions whether that be battling cancer or simply waking up early to go workout. Mental toughness can come from many sources such as:

• overcoming a difficult childhood
• a deep faith in God
• battling an addiction or disease
• undergoing military training
• consistent physical exertion

I know several people that I would consider mentally tough from WWII veterans to outdoor adventurers to Christian missionaries, but my friend Beau Suder is the first that comes to mind.

Beau has been an incredibly close friend for some time now so I’ve gotten to see his “inner workings,” a bit more than most folks. In high school Beau was an amazing athlete. Was it because he was 6′2” 220lbs with a 50-inch vertical? No, it was because he worked harder and pushed himself more than anyone else on the field. I have several stories I could tell, but I’ll keep this short.

Beau ended up playing football for the Air Force Academy, but struggled with a nagging shoulder injury. One night, while playing UNLV, he made a big hit on a guy and came trotting to the sideline holding his arm which was completely limp - he had dislocated his shoulder. I was on the sidelines and cringed thinking he would be out for the game if not longer. The next thing I saw was him talking to the trainer and the trainer popping his shoulder back in right there on the sidelines. One play later, Beau was trotting back onto the field to play the rest of the game! This is mental toughness, ignoring pain and performing under less than ideal circumstances.

As I began thinking about how one builds mental toughness I realized that while there are many ways it comes about, for the majority of people, consistent and intense physical exertion is the most accessible and common way to build mental toughness. You can’t help if you grew up in a posh suburban environment with loving parents or have never battled cancer, and the majority of people will never undergo the type of training that comes standard in the military, but everyone can go on a long run or work out until their bodies are screaming to stop. With that in mind, here are some keys to building mental toughness that anyone can follow:

1. Show Up - “Everybody wants to know what I’m on. What am I on? I’m on my bike busting my ass six hours a day. What are you on? ” - Lance Armstrong

What separates a guy like Lance from 99% of the world is the fact that he showed up everyday, when it was raining, when it was hot, when he was sore, when he was tired….he showed up everyday. JUST SHOW UP! What happens after you show up is where the real fun begins, but most people can’t even make it to that point. If it’s working out, tell a friend you’ll meet them at a certain time so you will be less likely to back out. If it’s battling an addiction, make yourself go to a recovery group every time it meets.

2. Hurt Vs. Injured - “Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.” - Lance Armstrong.

My high school football coach, John Deti, used to always ask players that limped to the sidelines during a game, are you hurt or injured? This may seem trite to some, but he was keying in on a fundamental issue. Soreness, stiffness, bruises…these are just parts of any game or any physically demanding activity, but they should not keep one from continuing. Injuries on the other hand, like muscle tears, broken bones, etc. are a different thing entirely and should be taken care of. One of the best ways to develop mental toughness is extreme physical exertion…if there is no discomfort , you aren’t pushing yourself hard enough. This is different from causing injury which hinders you rather than helping.

3. Unfamiliar and Unexpected Are Your Friends - Part of building mental toughness involves being comfortable performing in stressful situations. One of the best ways to develop this trait is by consistently doing things you have never done or trying things a different way. Fear of the unknown keeps many from ever developing mental toughness, but by consistently placing yourself in unfamiliar situations you can learn to deal with stress and fear. Some good ones that I’ve tried include rock climbing, attending the Air Force Academy, swimming (what is recreation for most used to stress me out since I was a terrible swimmer until recently) and mountain biking. You don’t have to do something crazy, just something that you don’t normally do and something that puts a little fear in your heart.

4. What’s Your Motivation - Whenever you find yourself in a tough position you will need something you can focus on to provide motivation. I don’t know exactly what Lance focused on during the hill climbs of the Tour de France, but I’m sure it included a mixture of other cancer patients he had met along the way, yellow jackets and a finish line. Lately, for me it has been my daughter and my desire to have her look at her father’s life someday and say, “Wow, he really pushed himself and accomplished some great things.” I want her to be as proud of me as I am of her. Whatever it is, everyone has to find something to focus on for motivation. If you allow your mind to focus on your pain or your laziness you will have a hard time pushing through any adversity.

5. Constantly Challenge Yourself - What most people fail to understand is that mental toughness is something that has to be practiced and developed over time. The key to this is placing yourself in challenging situations…constantly doing things that are hard. This is a fundamental principle of military training. Sure, push-ups and sit-ups help develop you physically, but after a couple hundred of them it becomes much more of a mental game than a physical one. The military uses physical training and yelling because it creates a stressful environment that breeds mental toughness and forces one to deal with intense discomfort and anxiety, the fact that it gets you in shape is a side benefit.

6. Surround Yourself with Lance’s and Beau’s - As with most things in life, you will become who you spend time with. So, if you want to get more mentally tough, spend time with people that already are. It’s contagious. I always love working out with Beau because just when I’ve had it and am ready to leave the gym he is just starting…he pushes me by his example. Lately I’ve been pouring myself into training for a marathon. Being as I’ve never run one I have tried to meet and talk to others that have in hopes of gleaning some insight and motivation from them. Whether you are training for a marathon or not, surrounding yourself with other mentally tough people is a sure way to become mentally tough yourself.

Mental toughness isn’t about being macho or cocky, it’s about coping with stress, anxiety and pain. It’s about running another lap when your throat is burning, doing 20 more push-ups after your arms start to shake and doing the things others aren’t willing to do.

This trait is beneficial not just for the Navy SEAL, but for the 9-5 average Joe as well. When one looks at people like Lance, the Ironman triathalete, or the Vietnam POW it is easy to say, “I could never make it through something like that or be as strong as them.” The fact is, they too had to develop their mental toughness just like everyone else, day after day after day. Simple, but not easy.

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Several months ago I decided that 2008 would be the year for me to run a marathon, something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, but always put off. Yesterday I ran my first half-marathon, a check point for me to see just where I am in my running journey.

The run went well and I completed the 13.1-mile course in a time of 1:43:38…about a 7:55 pace. I felt pretty pleased with myself until later in the afternoon when I saw the time for the winner who blazed through the course finishing in 1:08:06…35 minutes ahead of me! Now I know that running is supposed to be about competing against yourself and not worrying about other racers, blah blah blah, but the fact is I love competition and reading his time had an effect on me.

At this moment I had two choices:

• Be discouraged and decide I would never be able to run with the “big boys” OR

• Realize that while the process will take time and a lot of hard work, there’s no reason I can’t slowly cut away at this gap and become a great runner in the process.

NOW, this decision is what this post is all about - I don’t believe my choice to use his time as motivation rather than discouragement was an accident or simply a result of me being an optimist. It’s because I’ve had the opportunity to be in “Mr. 1:08’s” shoes before, not in the same sport, but different ones at various times — I’ve experienced winning and in doing so have gained some valuable insight:

The difference between first and second place is incredibly small. Winners know this and losers don’t.

In the 2004 Olympic games the difference between gold and silver in the 100-meter dash was .01 seconds…one one-hundredth of a second! If a couple muscle fibers had twitched a bit slower for champion Justin Gatlin his life from that moment on would have been completely different.

The person coming in second often feels like there is a huge chasm separating them from the winner’s circle. The champion understands that the margin between him and the guy right behind him is incredibly thin and easily gained and lost.

It is this perspective that enables some to excel in nearly everything, while others find nothing, but struggle and defeat. If one believes that the void between their present position and where they want to be is small and ultimately attainable then they will approach each endeavor EXPECTING victory. While this may seem insignificant to some, I believe it is a key trait of champions both in sports and life.

Those who expect to win view trials and tribulations along their journey very lightly, not paying them much attention. But those with no expectation of succeeding view bumps in the road as confirmation that they shouldn’t be on the road in the first place. Self-fulfilling prophecy at its finest.

Life’s battles don’t always go to the stronger or faster man. But sooner or later the man who wins, is the man who thinks he can. - Vince Lombardi

So how does one develop this outlook on life? Here’s a few thoughts:

• Hang Out With Winners - One of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever received is to spend time with the types of people you want to become. By spending time with successful people, not only will you have a chance to find out what makes them tick, but you’ll naturally begin to mimic their actions and attitudes.

• Put Yourself in A Position to Win - Sometimes, no matter how bad you believe you can succeed you’re not going to because you’ve made too many poor choices along the way. Winners understand there is no quick fix or secret solution. Without preparation you can kiss success goodbye. Excellence doesn’t just appear randomly, it is a habit that must be exercised daily.

• You Can’t Win At Everything, Don’t Try - I get really tired of hearing people say that you can do anything if you just believe or confess it enough times. It’s simply not true. My friend Lucas has an incredible ability to create beautiful pieces of pottery. I would love to be a great potter, but I’ve tried and I don’t have the patience or the vision. I could spend my life confessing and believing “I will be a wonderful potter,” but the reality is, it’s not going to happen and it would be a waste of time for me to pursue this goal. Attitude and believing you can succeed are only a part of the equation, they are not the sole element.

• Winning Attitude Does Not Equal Cocky Attitude - Make no mistake, I’m not advocating a swagger or cockiness. It is completely possible to be confident without being a jerk about it. Some of the most successful people I know are also the most humble…remember, the gap between first and second is small…just because you win doesn’t mean no one can touch you.

I sincerely hope this post doesn’t come off as one more self-help, “Secret”, 5 Steps to Victory-type post. My purpose for writing this was simply to show that people can look at a situation and either see an obstacle or they can see nothing and just keep winning. It’s not a secret, it’s just a reality

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As some of you may know I began training for a marathon almost two months ago. The process has been very rewarding so far; I feel great, more energy, more relaxed, and with each run its easier and easier to get into a rhythm. Sundays are my long run days with Tuesdays and Thursdays as my short run days (Tuesdays sometimes become imaginary running days). Since I didn’t get my long run in yesterday I had to do it tonight…it was by far the best run I’ve had and by far the most motivated I have been to push my limits…my motivation, fear of my wife.

The run started off as it usually does, changing into my running shorts and shoes, charging my iPod, fine tuning my playlist, out the door, iPod on, earphones in…and off down the asphalt path to glory. The only exception, I started a bit late…as the sun was starting to go down. Last Sunday I had run 6 miles so my initial plan was to get at least 6 and 7 if I felt good.

Sure enough, about 3 miles in I was feeling it. The Killers, “When You Were Young” was jamming through my headphones and I felt light so I decided to take a detour and add an extra mile. The sun was going down about this time…the headlights were becoming more intense creating my own little version of Coldplay’s “Fix You” music video. I completed the detour and popped back out onto my familiar route. By this time I was about halfway through my run, at the furthest point geographically from my house. Suddenly, it hit me, my wife and I had scheduled dinner with friends….at 7pm….it had to be about 6:30 or 6:45….CRAP!!!

I scrambled to remember when I had left the house…I remembered looking at the clock in the kitchen just before I stepped out the door and I was nearly certain it was around 6 when I left. I was doing mental calculations trying to determine my distance covered, average mile time, etc. My pace became much faster. This wasn’t the first time in the past few weeks something like this had slipped my mind. Marelize had been incredibly patient, but I knew this wasn’t going to be fun…she had told me just before I stepped out the door not to go on a long run…at the time I thought she just didn’t want me running in the dark, now it made a bit more sense.

Mile 5: Pitch black, headlights racing by much too close on the narrow country road, sweating, windy…then the little devil hopped up on my shoulder. What was I going to say about this. I could see her now…her stance, her eyes…the look of disappointment. It was unbearable. For a normal woman it may not have been so bad, but my wife had a little extra bargaining chip on the table, she’s currently 8 months pregnant. Thus, the excuses began to flow like wicked poetry. I stopped to help an old lady with car troubles, a pack of wild dogs chased me into an alley where I had to fend them off with a stick, I twisted my ankle and had to walk home….

Mile 6: At this point I was nearing a dead-out sprint. I’d almost settled on one of those quasi-truths, “I took a wrong turn.” In fact I had…the turn where I kept going further away from home at mile 3 instead of turning back around. I could feel my heart pounding through my sternum and could hear my breathing muffled over the sound of my music….Fall Out Boy’s “Sugar, We’re Going Down,” how appropriate. I began praying that God would give my wife a spirit of mercy and forgiveness.

Finally, after what seemed like 2 hours at a 6:30-mile pace I made it home. I had skipped my usual 1/2 mile cooldown walk and ran straight into the garage, preparing myself to look as exhausted and flustered as possible (this wasn’t all to hard to act out). Bursting through the door I glanced at the clock….6:20! Are you serious!?! I didn’t get it…evidently I had left about 5:30 instead of 6. Marelize cracked up as I explained the story to her. The rest of the night went well and I looked back at the incident thinking only one thing…it was the best run of my life. I’m a firm believer that physical training is 90% mental, the body will do almost anything the mind wants, the trick is finding the right motivation.